Hello Alameda, Welcome to the Island City Beat Podcast. Im your host Angie Watson-Hajjem. On today's show we're going to be talking about manifesting your soulmate. There are so many people out there who are trying their best to find that special someone. Some folks are doing online dating,
Angie Watson-Hajjem:other people are joining single groups, or taking classes, or hoping their best friend was hooking up with the perfect date, and still no success in this area. So what does one do? Well, my guest today is here to shed some light on this question.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Her name is Jennifer Zundell. Jennifer is a certified Calling in the One Coach and author of Dear Beloved Love Journal: Daily Practices to Attract Your Soulmate. Her work centers on helping people to release their inner barriers, allowing them to attract loving, fulfilling relationships. So with that, I want to say hello to Jennifer. Welcome to our show, Jennifer.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Thank you so much for being here.
Jennifer Zundel:Hello, Angie, and thank you so much for having me. I'm really happy to be here with you and share.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Yeah, I'm so delighted to have this conversation because I know there's so many both men and women who are out there really hoping to find their special person, and even with their best efforts, it isn't happening. And I just wonder in this world where we have millions, billions of people, why is it so difficult to make that hard connection with others?
Jennifer Zundel:That is such a great question. Why is it so hard? Why are singles really struggling right now? So let's keep in mind first. And the challenge is that we've been trying to find this kind of deep sacred soul may love in non spiritual ways.
Jennifer Zundel:We've been going about it using apps, using checklists rather than using our intuition and our energetic alignment. So what we really need here is a new approach to dating, a new approach to finding our person. We need a way to tap into our divine guidance and our own intuition to lead us to love. And that's the work that I do with my clients that I'm so excited about. I help them reconnect with their true essence so that they can attract love from a place of authenticity rather than their old patterns and their old wounds that keep coming back through relationship after relationship rather than playing games rather than trying to figure it out with a strategy.
Jennifer Zundel:And that's what a lot of people are doing. Modern dating is really discouraging. It leads people to experience things like ghosting, lack of honesty, dating fatigue, all of it that I'm sure your people can relate to. And yet the deeper reason for all of that is we've all become so disconnected. Disconnected from ourselves and disconnected from other people.
Jennifer Zundel:And we're overwhelmed by information. We're constantly swiping. We're constantly scrolling. And we're treating other people as if they're disposable. And most people aren't trying to be unkind.
Jennifer Zundel:They're just simply acting from their old patterns and disconnection. And so what we want to do differently when I coach clients is I encourage them to really go on each date with a simple focus. Simply focused on staying centered in your value and your true worth, being fully present, and simply creating a connection with the other person. Because even if it's not your person, they're still a human being and they still are worthy of love and care and attention and kindness. And so you can always find something to appreciate whether that's a smile, a laugh, or a story.
Jennifer Zundel:And that's going to make not only the dates more fun, but it's also going to much more likely lead to a better match. And so that's really one of the things I do guide people to do in my Manifesting Love journal. And so I guide people through daily practices to really live as that version of themselves who can naturally attract that kind of love.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Wow, that's a lot. A lot to piece through here. Oh my goodness. So first of all, I want to go back to how you were saying how you help people get connected to themselves, because I imagine that you must have a connection within yourself first before you can really connect with another person. So walk us through the process of what you do in helping people to connect.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:And also, I'm very curious about inner barriers that people have. I think a lot times people may not even know they have those inner barriers. So how do you help people get a sense of what those barriers are so that they can move through them? So those are two questions. I know it's a lot, but let's talk about the connection, that connection piece.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:How do you help people to get that connection with themselves first?
Jennifer Zundel:Yeah, well, there are a few specific blocks that tend to get in the way for people that often come about due to past experiences. They may live in our current life, like resentment about former partners or toxic dynamics that keep showing up in our relationships and those types of things that keep playing out over and over. But really at the core, the number one inner barrier that comes up again and again is our assumptions about ourselves and what's possible for us. What's possible for me? How do men or women feel about being in relationship with me?
Jennifer Zundel:What's possible for me to have love in this lifetime? What do I believe about that? What do I believe about life wanting me to have this love? Not only wanting me to have this love, but supporting me to have this love. What are our beliefs about that and our assumptions?
Jennifer Zundel:And we really need to see where that's living inside of us. Because when I'm talking about beliefs here, these aren't the beliefs that live in our minds. Instead, they're the beliefs that land in our energy, in our body, the somatic energy of our body. And this is why it might feel like sometimes it might feel like it's out of your control to respond a certain way to someone, even though you know better. Or it might feel like it's out of your control to pull back when maybe the better thing would be to lean forwards and create more connection.
Jennifer Zundel:But you put up this wall, this protection coping mechanism that then prevents true connection from happening. It prevents true vulnerability from happening.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Do you think that some people deep down feel like they don't really deserve love? That that may be something that hinders them from they think they want it, they feel like they want it, but deep down inside, they feel like it's not going to happen for them.
Jennifer Zundel:Exactly. Exactly. That does keep coming up. And here's the way to find it, because a lot of I'm sure your community have done some self work already. They're not newbies to personal growth work.
Jennifer Zundel:And so the challenge is, in this very minute, as you're listening to this podcast, you're probably not triggered. You're probably not disappointed and experiencing a deep disappointment. You're probably not sitting at a cafe with an attractive man or woman standing next to you who you hope is going to notice you and ask you out. And you're worried that they're not. You probably weren't dumped this morning by your former partner.
Jennifer Zundel:So you're probably what that means is you're probably not triggered in this minute. And so therefore, in this very minute, you probably know you're worthy of great love. Right? And the way to find out what these false beliefs are is in your moments of disappointment. In your moments where you just got rejected, you just got ghosted, you just had someone break up with you and tell you they weren't a good match and you were really hopeful that it was going to be a good match.
Jennifer Zundel:That's where we know where do you default to in those moments of disappointment because probably in those moments there's some belief I'm never the chosen one. This is never going to work out for me. I'm always going to be alone. What's wrong with me?
Angie Watson-Hajjem:So people think that how do you help them get out? How do you turn that around?
Jennifer Zundel:Yeah, great question. Right. So first of all, we need to identify your specific false belief system. And in the Calling in the One program that I coach, we call this your false love identity. And so it becomes a sense of self.
Jennifer Zundel:That's why it's called an identity. It becomes a sense of self where we think that's just the way things are for us. And so we need to identify it first of all and identify what the body identify more than us trying to figure it out with our minds. So I guide people through a seven step process to help you name what that is, that false love identity. And then we can see very clearly what is it causing you to do.
Jennifer Zundel:Actual in your behaviors and your choices, your actions. What is it causing you to do in your dating life, in your relationships that are creating more of what you don't want unconsciously, despite your best efforts to create what you want? Yeah. Right? This is why dating is so hard because we're trying to create something wonderful but we're sabotaging ourselves.
Jennifer Zundel:So then once we see what's going on more clearly, then we have some choices. Then choice opens up for us and I guide people to name what's your true love identity, what's really true about who you are and your possibility for love, and how men or women feel about being in relationship with you. What's really true? And then we would be able to see what if you're truly centered in that energy, how might you respond differently to your dating life, to the challenges, to the disappointments, to someone that you're nervous about going on a date with who you really like and you want it to go well, how would you respond differently in a way that would support it to go well?
Angie Watson-Hajjem:You have a journal that you wrote and you talk about daily practices for manifesting love. You want to talk a little bit about some of those practices that people can do daily?
Jennifer Zundel:Sure, sure, sure. So the first practice is getting centered in this true love identity regularly on a daily basis before you take any actions in your life, before you do do any things that you know that that might be in you know going on date for example. So then I also guide you to connect with the energy of your beloved right because we're talking about manifesting here. We're talking about getting into the divine connection and that energetic field and the reality is you and your beloved soulmates are already connected, even if you haven't met this person yet. And you already know more about them than you realize. And so I guide people to connect with their intuition, connect with that energy of the soulmate and to start to create a relationship now, a felt sense of that relationship.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:You're kind of having a vision of your soulmate?
Jennifer Zundel:Yes. Kind of having a vision, doing some meditative work, sensing into the energy, sensing into that conversation, even writing them a letter, even writing them a message. And what do you want to say to them today? How can you start to open up that portal? Right, Isn't that like an exciting idea, opening up that portal?
Angie Watson-Hajjem:So you're writing a letter to the person he's not or she's not in your life right now, but you're pretending like they're in your life right now, basically.
Jennifer Zundel:Kind of. I mean, it's a little bit like pretending imagining, but it's really getting into the alignment of being in that relationship. Right? Because you have the feeling of being in that relationship, because that's what attracts them to you is being in that energetic alignment, like a tuning fork. You know, if you play any instruments, a tuning fork is going to vibrate at a certain frequency.
Jennifer Zundel:And if you put a tuning fork in a room with other tuning forks that are set to that same frequency, they will all vibrate. Because they're at the same frequency. And so that's what we're doing is we're trying to get into alignment with that frequency of the beloved relationship.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:For energetic. Yes. Yeah,
Jennifer Zundel:Exactly. That. Now, of the reason that I wrote my book is because I see there were a few reasons, actually, but I see so many singles who are confused and they're overwhelmed with all the things that they could be doing to attract love. And they're confused about what actions to take, and they're exhausted. They're exhausted from trying so many things and nothing working.
Jennifer Zundel:And so my book, I created it to create a practice for taking daily actions. So it's not just about visioning. It's not just about meditating. It's not just about imagining your person. It's actually making it practical.
Jennifer Zundel:What do I do today to bring my soulmate into life? Who do I talk to? Where should I go? What activities should I get involved in? How can I grow myself today so that I might be ready to welcome this person in?
Jennifer Zundel:What's my next step today? And so it's very action oriented. And this is important because manifesting is based on the Law of Attraction, which includes the word action. It requires action and I think that's one of the things for the people who are following already manifesting in the law of attraction, they're not taking enough action. So this is one of the things that I really wanted to focus on with this book is taking action consistently and not so much action that you're tired and exhausted, but focused action.
Jennifer Zundel:The actions that are going to move something forwards. So this was one of the reasons I created this journal so that you could regularly have a practice, a simple practice that you could regularly do every day and stay committed to it. Because just like going to the gym, you can't lose weight if you're not going to the gym. You actually have to go to the gym. And that's what this is like.
Jennifer Zundel:We actually have to do the practices in order for them to be effective in work.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:I want to talk a little bit we touched on it a bit about online dating because it's huge now. It's just exploded. Everyone's doing online dating now. And there's mixed results. There's some people have had fantastic online dating, others not so much.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:I know I know two couples who met online and fell in love and got married. One couple still blissfully happily married, the other couple getting divorced, and it happens. But I would love to just have you talk a little bit about, for people who are doing online dating and they're not having a lot of success, what tips can you share that might help people have a more positive outcome when it comes to online dating?
Jennifer Zundel:Yeah, so first of all, one of the things I always start with my clients is creating an intention for what you're up to. What is it that you're committed to creating? And the reason so this is not like a wish statement. It's an intention. And what I mean by an intention is that I am committed to this.
Jennifer Zundel:And so then when things get challenging, I have to come back to that intention and say, who am I going to be in response to that challenge? I am committed to doing this no matter what it takes. So first of all, we want to start with an intention rather than just knowing so that you know what you're calling in rather than what you're avoiding. Because so many people go into online dating focused on what they're avoiding. I'm not going to go out with the ones who want to waste my time.
Jennifer Zundel:I'm not going to go out with the ones who don't like dogs. I'm not going to go out with the ones who and all the things that they don't want. They're focused on what they don't want. And so I would encourage you to focus on what you do want. And also another key, going back to what we were talking about earlier, this sense of self, this false love identity, true love identity, making sure that you're truly centered in your value and your worthiness where you know love is possible for you before you even open the app.
Jennifer Zundel:So what that means in a more simple way is don't swipe when you're tired, lonely, or discouraged. Right? Because you're automatically going to be in your false center, your false identity, and it will create more lack of connection. That's one of the big problems I see with online dating is people aren't connecting enough. If they're just keeping it surface level and small talk and that's not creating an experience where people feel seen, connected and valued.
Jennifer Zundel:That's not going to lead to someone wanting dates.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:I know rejection comes up a lot on long dating. In fact, I have a girlfriend of mine who's doing online dating right now, and she met a guy and they've had like three dates and it went really well. She liked him and he liked her. And then he just stopped communicating. And I talked to her last night, actually, and she was just devastated.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:How do you deal with that? I mean, you know, you you put your best foot forward, you meet someone, things are going well, you think they're going well, and then the person just disappears. And that's just so heartbreaking. How do you move?
Jennifer Zundel:It is.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Yeah. It's just awful. I feel so bad for her. I was trying to coach her and help her feel better, but it wasn't very successful.
Jennifer Zundel:Yeah, well, so disappointment has come up. Know, like we've been talking about disappointment is going to trigger the false love identity. So we want to, first of all, see what assumptions are getting activated, right? So I must not be good enough, or he must want someone else, he must like someone else better than me and I'm not the chosen one, right? So all the good ones are taken.
Jennifer Zundel:I'm never going to have love. We want to see what stories are getting activated here. And we want to really see if we can do our best to shift into the part of us that knows better. There's a part of us that knows better. Your higher self, your better self, your wiser self.
Jennifer Zundel:The part of you that shows up as a best friend for other people when they need you and can be a really good mentor. So we need to find that part of ourselves. And what would we tell ourselves about what's really possible for us? Right? This man may not be your man, but there's someone better coming because you're deeply worthy of love.
Jennifer Zundel:You came here to love and be loved.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:It gets so hard for people to hold on to that when they're in the mix of sadness.
Jennifer Zundel:It is when they're in that.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:It's really hard.
Jennifer Zundel:So that's the first thing. Second thing, remember the intention, right? This is why we always start with that intention is because in moments like disappointments, we easily get thrown off track. And we need to say, wait a minute here, wait a minute here. I'm creating this.
Jennifer Zundel:I'm creating the kind of relationship with a man that I admire and desire. And together we are creating a lifelong love that grows deeper every day. This is what I'm up to, no matter what my outer reality is telling me. Right? This is what I'm up to.
Jennifer Zundel:And so therefore, I am going to choose this is a choice point here. We're talking a lot about choice points too. This is a choice point where I choose in that minute to say, I am committed to this intention. And I'm going to reframe what's just happened to me, this disappointment. And how can I reframe it and see it as a good thing?
Jennifer Zundel:So for example, how is it helping me? How is this man that I really liked, and he decided to just ghost me? And I'm so heartbroken by that. But how is it the exact experience I needed to have happen so that I can have love in my life? Thank God this man ghosted me.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Yeah, trying to find the blessing in that.
Jennifer Zundel:The silver blessing in disguise, the silver lining, the gift, right? So for example, maybe you might see this as your opportunity to lean into greater levels of trust and love for yourself. Trusting that love is on the way for you. That life does have a plan for you to have love. This is your opportunity to really lean into that.
Jennifer Zundel:Maybe you might see that this interaction with this person was a great step for you. You know, maybe he was better than your past relationships. Maybe he seemed more caring and you know more in alignment with what you're looking for. And you can congratulate yourself for calling in a man who's more like what you're looking for, right? And you can say yes, life, more of this.
Jennifer Zundel:But now I need one who wants to have a relationship with me. Thank you, life. Just that tweak.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Yeah. I mean, that because what she was saying too earlier conversation was he was so different than the other guy she has been dating. He seemed he had very warm eyes, and that he was very friendly. So it's like she's, you know, moving up to a better place.
Jennifer Zundel:Exactly. So she could see this as progress, right? So she can congratulate herself and say, wow, look at how I manifested, attracted a great man who was more caring, more available, more what I'm interested in. And he maybe wasn't everything 100% because he didn't want a relationship with me.
Jennifer Zundel:So, you know, I can appreciate that he kind of took himself out of my dating life so that he made room for the man who will be fully available for me.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Yeah.
Jennifer Zundel:And that's exciting, right?
Angie Watson-Hajjem:It's powerful. It really is.
Jennifer Zundel:Very powerful.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:It's so easy to just kind of get caught with what you see but it's sometimes so much more beyond what we see, you know.
Jennifer Zundel:So much more beyond what we see. I really encourage my clients to see dating as a path that we're making progress on. See, I think one of the challenges with dating is singles tend to view everything as black and white. Either I have my person or I don't. Either I'm in a relationship or I'm not.
Jennifer Zundel:Either things are going well for me or they're not. And it's not so black and white. Yeah. We've made progress. We've manifested a man who was more like what we're looking for.
Jennifer Zundel:Or we got the opportunity to practice our relationship skills so that we showed up better. Or we can grow our gratitude for how we were able to grow through this interaction. And what a gift that is, right? And then if we approach the ending of that relationship in this way, it's going to make the next one even better. It's going to make the next one come even sooner.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Wow. Jennifer, I'm sure people are blown away with a lot of what you've been saying. I know I am sitting here like, wow. So if people want to work with you, tell us a little bit about your work. I know you have workshops and one on one coaching. Tell us a little bit about your offerings and how do people get a hold of you if they'd like to work with you.
Jennifer Zundel:Thank you so much for asking. So I work with men and women who are single and genuinely really ready to call in a loving, committed partnership. But they keep finding themselves repeating painful patterns, and they don't know how to quite change those. So they might say things like I keep attracting emotionally unavailable people, or I meet nice people, but there's just no spark and things never work out. I feel like I'm doing all the right things, but nothing's happening for me.
Jennifer Zundel:So if that sounds familiar, those are really the people I work with. And so in Calling in the One Coaching, I guide my clients through a powerful process of identifying and releasing the hidden inner obstacles that have been keeping love away so then become magnetic to love and can finally call in their person. And we don't just talk about dating strategies, we go much deeper to shift really the core of what's going on so that we can really create what we do want the deep meaningful connections. And for those who are ready to get started right away, I do have my dear beloved Manifesting Love Journal, The Daily Practices to Attract Your Soulmate, which is available on Amazon. And I designed that as a 13 week guided companion to help you heal old patterns, stay anchored in your true worthiness, to love and be loved, and to really take the inspired actions like I was saying earlier to take action every day, even tiny actions.
Jennifer Zundel:And then I have my website dearbelovedjournal.com where you'll find free resources including a Manifest Your Soulmate meditation that's free and ways that you can connect with me if you're interested in private coaching and being a part of my community.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:That's great. I'm just curious too, like what inspired you to start a business, helping people find love? It's kind of a cool job that you have.
Jennifer Zundel:Yes, I do find that it's very gratifying helping people create what they most deeply desire, right? It is so moving for me when I sit on calls with clients and
Jennifer Zundel:I we really get to the core of something that was in the way for them, Right? But I used to have myself, I used to have a pattern of attracting only the men that I was not interested in, what I would call the wrong men, right? And if by chance I would get into a relationship with a man that I liked, I would quickly get scared and end the relationship. And afterwards I would be confused and devastated about how it happened. And even though clearly I knew I was the one creating this pattern, I didn't know what to do about it.
Jennifer Zundel:And so I really had to look at myself to understand what was going on and how I could change it. And that's what led me to become a Calling in the One Coach. It's what led me to write my book Dear Beloved Manifesting Love Journal and to really help other people now transform their relationships too.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Wonderful, really important work that you're doing in the world, Jennifer. Thank you so much for it and if people do want to get a hold of you, we'll put your information on our resource page and you have a free gift there too for folks that they can check out. So it's been such a delight talking to you. Really enjoyed it. I hope that you enjoyed the interview as much as I did. I learned a lot.
Jennifer Zundel:Yes, absolutely. Thank you for having me. It's been a delight talking with you as well.
Angie Watson-Hajjem:Oh, thanks, Jennifer. And thank you for tuning in to another edition of the Island City Beat podcast. Hope you enjoyed the show. Hope you come back and join us again for a new episode. Until then, I'm your host, Angie Watson-Hajjem. Take care, everyone. Goodbye.